The Best of You: Break Free from Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self in God
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- Create Date：2022-09-17 06:53:00
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Alison Cook
- ISBN：1400234549
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Summary
How would your life change if you could show up as your true self？
Do you sometimes feel so stuck in an endless cycle of meeting everyone else’s needs and expectations that you lose sight of your own？ You want to give the best of yourself to others。 But what happens when people hurt or take advantage of you？ What happens when life doesn’t go your way， despite your best efforts？
The Best of You reveals breakthrough strategies to discover your true self， find your voice， set wise limits， and still be a loving person。 For over twenty years， Dr。 Alison Cook has brought together faith and psychology to help thousands of women reclaim their confidence， find their purpose， and develop the authentic connections they crave。 Her unique wisdom will help you answer these tough questions:
How do I put a stop to painful patterns that keep recurring in my life？
How do I find my voice and speak up for myself？
What if other people respond with anger， blame， or a guilt trip？
How do I trust myself to make wise decisions even in difficult circumstances？
You don’t have to stay stuck， overwhelmed， or defeated。 The Best of You gives you the path to the life and relationships that God designed for you to enjoy。
Do you sometimes feel so stuck in an endless cycle of meeting everyone else’s needs and expectations that you lose sight of your own？ You want to give the best of yourself to others。 But what happens when people hurt or take advantage of you？ What happens when life doesn’t go your way， despite your best efforts？
The Best of You reveals breakthrough strategies to discover your true self， find your voice， set wise limits， and still be a loving person。 For over twenty years， Dr。 Alison Cook has brought together faith and psychology to help thousands of women reclaim their confidence， find their purpose， and develop the authentic connections they crave。 Her unique wisdom will help you answer these tough questions:
How do I put a stop to painful patterns that keep recurring in my life？
How do I find my voice and speak up for myself？
What if other people respond with anger， blame， or a guilt trip？
How do I trust myself to make wise decisions even in difficult circumstances？
You don’t have to stay stuck， overwhelmed， or defeated。 The Best of You gives you the path to the life and relationships that God designed for you to enjoy。
Reviews
Carrie Stewart
，
This book has been a game changer for me。 I have struggled with wanting to please people my entire life and ignoring what truly mattered to me and my inner person。 Dr Cook does such a good job at helping me rediscover who I am and how to bring the inner me out。
Shell
，
It's hard to put into words what a relief to read a book like this is。 I am thankful that Dr。 Cook has brought the bible and psychology together in such a practical way。 I can't wait for her next book！ I love her podcast and articles as well。 How do we get this material into the hands and hearts of Christ followers everywhere？ It's hard to put into words what a relief to read a book like this is。 I am thankful that Dr。 Cook has brought the bible and psychology together in such a practical way。 I can't wait for her next book！ I love her podcast and articles as well。 How do we get this material into the hands and hearts of Christ followers everywhere？ 。。。more
Marie Griffith
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I’ve read a lot of books about becoming all you can be， healing from childhood wounds， stopping the codependency cycle， and learning to cultivate healthy relationships but this is the only one that talks about all of those topics and more。 Dr。 Alison Cook combines her knowledge of psychology， her counseling experience， and her faith in God and takes her readers on a journey to self-awareness and healthy relationships with ourselves， others， and God。 She teaches us about trauma， how to avoid toxi I’ve read a lot of books about becoming all you can be， healing from childhood wounds， stopping the codependency cycle， and learning to cultivate healthy relationships but this is the only one that talks about all of those topics and more。 Dr。 Alison Cook combines her knowledge of psychology， her counseling experience， and her faith in God and takes her readers on a journey to self-awareness and healthy relationships with ourselves， others， and God。 She teaches us about trauma， how to avoid toxic relationships， and set firm boundaries。 And she outlines the difference between selfishness， selfhood， and selflessness which can be unclear for people of faith。 I go back again and again to The Best of You as a resource as I guide others in their spiritual formation， through the stages of faith， and writing their stories。 Do you want a comprehensive guide to be the best you？ To know yourself and God better？ To stop painful patterns？ To cultivate healthy relationships？ This is the one to have on your nightstand today。 。。。more
Deanna Rolston
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As a student of psychology， a counseling client， and a struggling Christian， I found this book to be profoundly meaningful and practical。 Dr。 Alison shared not only from her knowledge and therapy practice， but also from her own vulnerable life experiences。 She harmoniously connected faith and psychology， leaving me inspired to find my voice， make peace with myself， and invite God into both the beauty and brokenness of life。 Dr。 Alison is a tender and brilliant guide， as well as a fellow traveler As a student of psychology， a counseling client， and a struggling Christian， I found this book to be profoundly meaningful and practical。 Dr。 Alison shared not only from her knowledge and therapy practice， but also from her own vulnerable life experiences。 She harmoniously connected faith and psychology， leaving me inspired to find my voice， make peace with myself， and invite God into both the beauty and brokenness of life。 Dr。 Alison is a tender and brilliant guide， as well as a fellow traveler， leading us as we journey with curiosity， compassion， and humility。 Buy a copy for every woman you love！ 。。。more
Shelley Singh
，
Dr。 Alison Cook’s new book， the best of you， is one of the best books I have read on healing and wholeness。 Real life is messy and most people have wounds from church， family， or cultures。She is uniquely skilled at presenting the delicate balance of the pain of brokenness in humanity with gentle grace。 She encourages the reader to navigate past trauma， shame， and co-dependency by using biblical concepts in the correct context。 She tenderly grasps these topics with a gentle strength compelling th Dr。 Alison Cook’s new book， the best of you， is one of the best books I have read on healing and wholeness。 Real life is messy and most people have wounds from church， family， or cultures。She is uniquely skilled at presenting the delicate balance of the pain of brokenness in humanity with gentle grace。 She encourages the reader to navigate past trauma， shame， and co-dependency by using biblical concepts in the correct context。 She tenderly grasps these topics with a gentle strength compelling the reader to process and heal from people pleasing and fortifying boundaries to truly shine as their authentic self。 This book helped to clarify biblical concepts which were used wrongfully in my life by unhealthy leaders and I appreciate her courage to validate women’s voices which have often been silenced into submission by families， cultures， and authorities。 Dr。 Cook truly understands that relational connections heal with safe people， a healthy identity in God， and growth towards expressing your authentic self。I know I will refer back to this rich resource full of life-giving wisdom in my journey of spiritual growth。 This book will nourish your soul， stir your heart and equip you with practical tools in your journey to wholeness。 Disclaimer: I received an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Rachael
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This book is affirming and enlightening。 It feels very timely。Dr。 Alison Cook explains dynamics that we've likely grown up with and accepted， how they may be holding us back from being our true selves， and ways to shift things in our lives now。So many parts of the book are speaking to me， and I have been highlighting more than usual。Women are Dr。 Alison's target audience， but I think it's worth a read for anyone who wants to know themselves fully。 This book is affirming and enlightening。 It feels very timely。Dr。 Alison Cook explains dynamics that we've likely grown up with and accepted， how they may be holding us back from being our true selves， and ways to shift things in our lives now。So many parts of the book are speaking to me， and I have been highlighting more than usual。Women are Dr。 Alison's target audience， but I think it's worth a read for anyone who wants to know themselves fully。 。。。more
Missy Rankin
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This is such a beautifully written book。 Dr。 Alision Cook lovingly and empathically teaches us （the reader） a practical， doable compassionate way of healing emotional wounds- without reliving the trauma。I highly recommend this book to any woman who struggles with being comfortable in her own skin and with painful emotions。In my practice， I see many women experiencing health issues directly related to unresolved emotional wounds。 I've already recommended this to my clients。Heal the past。 Enjoy th This is such a beautifully written book。 Dr。 Alision Cook lovingly and empathically teaches us （the reader） a practical， doable compassionate way of healing emotional wounds- without reliving the trauma。I highly recommend this book to any woman who struggles with being comfortable in her own skin and with painful emotions。In my practice， I see many women experiencing health issues directly related to unresolved emotional wounds。 I've already recommended this to my clients。Heal the past。 Enjoy the present。 Look forward to the future。 （This book can help you with all three）。Missy RankinFunctional Medicine Health Coach 。。。more
Alyssa Shifra
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This book is EXCELLENT。 As a general Christian women's self-help book， "The Best of You" ticks all the boxes--warm， practical， encouraging， and deeply *helpful*。 Dr。 Alison Cook draws both from both personal stories and years of experience as a trained therapist to cover many of the most common areas where women struggle。 At the heart of every conversation， Allison gently draws women back to a question many of us have never had the courage to ask: "What is it that *you* want？"On the surface， tha This book is EXCELLENT。 As a general Christian women's self-help book， "The Best of You" ticks all the boxes--warm， practical， encouraging， and deeply *helpful*。 Dr。 Alison Cook draws both from both personal stories and years of experience as a trained therapist to cover many of the most common areas where women struggle。 At the heart of every conversation， Allison gently draws women back to a question many of us have never had the courage to ask: "What is it that *you* want？"On the surface， that's a simple and obvious question--but it's one that many women （especially those within American Protestant/evangelical circles， I suspect） have difficulty answering。 In an attempt to "take up our cross，" "turn the other cheek，" and avoid selfishness/pride， Dr。 Cook describes how many of us have mistaken "selflessness" for not having a self， altogether。 This particular misrepresentation of how Christ actually lived （and how the Bible teaches us to live） results in deeply unhealthy ways of relating to others--which in turn， often lead to anxiety， depression， and unhealthy coping mechanisms。 While Dr。 Cook does a great job identifying problems， her focus--and clearly， her passion--is on helping her readers find healing and growth。 She does not waste time over-analyzing or criticizing who is to blame when women internalize Christian messages in ways that lead to codependency， poor boundaries， spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity。 （In this age of divisiveness， she probably could have sold more books--and controversy--had she taken that route！） Instead， Dr。 Cook's clinical background gives her compelling stories from real-life women to share， and a talent for asking questions that cut straight to the heart of a matter。 In fact， I found that the reflection/application questions at the end of each chapter were especially strong compared to other books I've read。 （Having made their case in the bulk of a chapter， some authors will make the mistake of overwhelming a reader with too many questions to actually digest， or only offer low-quality， fluff questions that don't bring the material home。） Dr。 Cook's writing clearly benefits from years of time spent listening to actual clients， and learning how to ask effective questions that prompt meaningful change。 Dr。 Cook's advice is wise and familiarly grounded within the best practices of modern psychology， so there is probably nothing particularly ground-breaking about much of her content; and the book actually covers so many different relational situations， that I （personally） hit a point of emotional over-saturation around chapter 8。 That said--the content is all *really good，* and the *way* it is articulated is even better。 "The Best of You" feels like time spent sitting with the very best kind of therapist--someone who is wise， trustworthy， and deeply committed to helping you become the best version of yourself。Thank you to the author and publisher for providing me with a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review。 Dr。 Cook--God bless you！ and thank you so much for your work。 。。。more
Stephanie A。
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I have followed Dr。 Allison Cook for quite some time。 I'd purchased her course on creating healthy boundaries for women。 A former people pleaser， which stems from childhood trauma， I had needed to regain my confidence and voice。 In The Best of You， Dr。 Allison， as she is lovingly referred to， combines her over twenty years of experience as a board certified psychologist therapist and her love of the true teachings of Jesus， has written a book that will draw you in immediately and help you figure I have followed Dr。 Allison Cook for quite some time。 I'd purchased her course on creating healthy boundaries for women。 A former people pleaser， which stems from childhood trauma， I had needed to regain my confidence and voice。 In The Best of You， Dr。 Allison， as she is lovingly referred to， combines her over twenty years of experience as a board certified psychologist therapist and her love of the true teachings of Jesus， has written a book that will draw you in immediately and help you figure out how to become who you were before others: family members， peers， church leaders， etc。 told you who to be。Using real life examples， each chapter helps you see the unhealthy patterns that may be causing you to be anxious， depressed， or repressing emotions such as anger， sadness and frustration， which can manifest into physical pain。 She combines Jesus' teachings and own actions with psychological understanding and therapeutical techniques。Certain chapters offer you the reflective questions you need in order for you to figure out what is holding you back and she offers tools and suggestions for moving forward。All of this is offered through a lens of compassion and kindness。 You are not your anger。 You are not your anxiety。 You are a human who has been affected by life experiences and societal norms。 Dr。 Allison shows you the way out of unhappiness and into your true， authentic self。 。。。more
Catherine
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This book is wonderful！ Dr。 Cook expertly weaves her extensive psychological and counseling knowledge in with her own story to explain some basic and life changing principles。 It is so worth the read and a book that is wonderful to give to others as they navigate learning to set boundaries， foster healthy relationships and learn how to start listening to their own bodies。
Michelle O'Brien
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The Best of You integrates faith and psychology in practical ways。 Reading it is like going to therapy inside a book。 There is so much valuable information packed in here， I could read this book multiple times and still gain new insights。 Highly recommend！
Joy McMillan
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Another soul-nourishing， heart-healing， boundary-fortifying gift from Dr。 Alison Cook。 These words are balm for the weary soul。 As an enneagram 2 who was raised in the church， this book was a refreshing， timely， liberating read。 I am beyond grateful for the wisdom， compassion and experience Dr。 Cook brings to all her offerings; be it books， posts or videos。
Liz Clark
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Dr。 Alison Cook has forever changed my life through her work。 I feel like all the puzzle pieces of my internal world are finally coming together into a whole picture I can make sense of。I LOVE her emphasis on our ability to have agency: we can partner with Jesus' Spirit to become the best version of who God created is to be。 We can learn to trust ourselves。 When we're being led by the Spirit， our best selves show up in the world and in our relationships。 How incredibly beautiful and life-giving Dr。 Alison Cook has forever changed my life through her work。 I feel like all the puzzle pieces of my internal world are finally coming together into a whole picture I can make sense of。I LOVE her emphasis on our ability to have agency: we can partner with Jesus' Spirit to become the best version of who God created is to be。 We can learn to trust ourselves。 When we're being led by the Spirit， our best selves show up in the world and in our relationships。 How incredibly beautiful and life-giving that would be！I so appreciate Dr。 Cook's section on the distinctions between selfishness， selfhood， and selflessness。 So eye-opening for me。 Thank you， Alison， for shedding so much light and clarity in such a loving and compassionate way。 Already recommending you to friends and family！ 。。。more
Laura
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Amazing book from Dr。 Alison Cook。 A definite must-read if you are someone tired of feeling hollow inside， feeling like you're missing something， feeling defeated in your growth or life in general。Steps to becoming more of who you are meant to be are included in this book。 It's written in such a way that you can work through it alone， but it would be so much more beneficial to work through with a small group of women who will come alongside each other with the goal of reaching the best that God Amazing book from Dr。 Alison Cook。 A definite must-read if you are someone tired of feeling hollow inside， feeling like you're missing something， feeling defeated in your growth or life in general。Steps to becoming more of who you are meant to be are included in this book。 It's written in such a way that you can work through it alone， but it would be so much more beneficial to work through with a small group of women who will come alongside each other with the goal of reaching the best that God has for each of you。So many excellent quotes; I'll include just a few。"If you are never taught how to develop— and trust —your own sense of self， you have no choice but to blindly trust other people。 How can you possibly forge healthy relationships with others— if you don’t first understand how to show up as the person God made you to be？""The problem is that healing— whether it’s current heartaches or past wounds— is rarely a one-time event。 Healing is a process， a practice， a way of becoming more of who you really are 。 It’s the work every single one of us has been given to do。 It’s the work that I believe is at the center of God’s heart。 Healing starts within us and flows out to our loved ones， our neighbors， and our world。""I didn’t know I could develop what psychologists call agency— that I could heal， grow in assertiveness， and develop a strong sense of self。 Instead， I second-guessed every thought， feeling， or longing inside of me。 It felt wrong to listen to， let alone trust， my own instincts。""For centuries， most women have been taught to accept a silent message。 This message tells us， Disregard yourself for the sake of others。""You discount every single thing your mind， your heart， and your body are telling you， because， after all， you were never taught to consider that you might hold the key to what’s missing。""It’s hard to forge healthy relationships with others if you haven’t been taught that what you want and need matters。""Sacrificing for others does not mean betraying yourself。""You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge。 You can’t transform what you’ve pretended doesn’t exist。 You don’t heal in the context of shame， criticism ， or spiritual bypassing。 You heal— and become your true self in God— in the context of safety， honesty， love， and compassion。""。。。the voice of shame doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong。 The voice of shame might mean you’re doing something vulnerable， valuable， and brave。""The truth is， it can seem easier to feel shame than grieve the reality of the support you needed but didn’t get。"There's so much more - I wish I had enough money to buy a copy for all my friends。 It's that good。I received an ARC; this is my honest review。 。。。more
Rowena Day
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Dr。 Alison Cook is a deeply wise， humble and compassionate physician of the soul。 She is like a modern day Moses leading people to greater emotional and spiritual freedom within themselves and within their relationships。 She has done this for me and I deeply believe in her work。 Her words help correct and realign unhelpful church messages that have been twisted and misrepresented yet widely believed and adopted in faith communities to the detriment of our souls。 The chapter outlining the differe Dr。 Alison Cook is a deeply wise， humble and compassionate physician of the soul。 She is like a modern day Moses leading people to greater emotional and spiritual freedom within themselves and within their relationships。 She has done this for me and I deeply believe in her work。 Her words help correct and realign unhelpful church messages that have been twisted and misrepresented yet widely believed and adopted in faith communities to the detriment of our souls。 The chapter outlining the difference between selfishness， selflessness and opening up a third healthier category of selfhood is worth purchasing this book alone。 She unpacks the real meaning of often misunderstood messages such as “deny yourself” and “turn the other cheek”。 She helps identify what is within your boundaries of responsibility and how to break free of codependent tendencies。 If you want to live your numbered days on earth from your core Self and break free of thought and relational patterns that entangle and confuse you - this book is for you。 The clarity she provides will reset your inner compass， help you understand your wounds and offer hope and a path toward finding and experiencing healing。 。。。more
Amanda Slatin
，
*****Alison Cook continues to come alongside each of us and support and encourage deep growth， healing of our wounded parts， strengthening our connections in community， creating ‘yes’ boundaries， and spurring each of us to become the healthiest versions of ourselves。 Cook’s vulnerability in sharing parts of her own story， along with lessons she has learned from journeying with others， brings great clarity and discernment for our own lives。 You don’t want to miss The Best of You， which launches *****Alison Cook continues to come alongside each of us and support and encourage deep growth， healing of our wounded parts， strengthening our connections in community， creating ‘yes’ boundaries， and spurring each of us to become the healthiest versions of ourselves。 Cook’s vulnerability in sharing parts of her own story， along with lessons she has learned from journeying with others， brings great clarity and discernment for our own lives。 You don’t want to miss The Best of You， which launches this week！！ It will have a transformational effect on your life as you surrender to your own journey and path。 Alison Cook beautifully shares， “I have learned to value that vulnerability， not shove it aside。 I now know how to turn toward myself to pay attention to the cues my body and soul are sending me。。。I can write a new story weaving together threads… of courage， of strength… I can open my palms wide up to the sky and say God it is you it is you who number is my days。 I surrender to all that you are。” While I also wholeheartedly recommend Cook’s previous book Boundaries for Your Soul， this next book The Best of You， dives even deeper and asks fantastic reflective questions for each of us to dig deep， heal and live our most authentic， courageous， healthy and vibrant lives！ Thanks for sharing and spurring us on our life journeys- deep joy and gratitude for Alison Cook’s The Best of You！！！！ 。。。more
Sarah Vint
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As a woman who has been a follower of Jesus and in the church for a long time， I was refreshed to read Dr。 Allison’s timely book 。 All of the factors she mentions in the book that encourage women to not show up as their true selves and instead serve at all costs， include the loss of themselves is damaging and harmful。 I am passionate about this message reaching women in our churches today。 The quote below especially stood out to me。 "Jesus was no doormat。 When Jesus said to "deny yourself，" he u As a woman who has been a follower of Jesus and in the church for a long time， I was refreshed to read Dr。 Allison’s timely book 。 All of the factors she mentions in the book that encourage women to not show up as their true selves and instead serve at all costs， include the loss of themselves is damaging and harmful。 I am passionate about this message reaching women in our churches today。 The quote below especially stood out to me。 "Jesus was no doormat。 When Jesus said to "deny yourself，" he understood the difference between denying your selfishness and denying your selfhood - your God-given， image-bearing self， which is your soul made to shine who God is through your life。 Jesus claimed and protected his identity as God's beloved Son， which allowed him to heal people， transform lives， and ultimately change the course of history by his death and resurrection。 His ultimate act of sacrifice was rooted in a rock-solid sense of who he was and whose he was。 He gave up his life from a position of strength， rooted in a clarity of purpose。 The example of Jesus is especially critical for women to understand， because we have been taught to sacrifice like he did， without also being taught to develop his strength。 In order to love and lead others， you have to develop a strong sense of self。" 。。。more
Bethany Anne
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I honestly wish all my family and friends would read this book。 This book is powerful。 It explains so much， and really explains practical ways to get to the root of what you’re feeling。 And reassures us that it is okay to have feelings！！ It is okay to have feelings and explore what is actually causing the feeling。 It’s okay to dig down and find that girl God made you to be。 Find what’s holding her back or holding her down。
Fran
，
In "The Best of You"， Dr。 Alison Cook discusses the patterns and traumas that prevent women from being true to themselves and fully living their lives as God intended。 Throughout the book， she reminds us that in order to show up as our true selves， we have to face our wounds and address a number of behaviors that keep us stuck， ranging from people pleasing， to denial of our true emotions。 With a warm and straightforward writing style， Dr。 Cook provides clear strategies for addressing the obstacl In "The Best of You"， Dr。 Alison Cook discusses the patterns and traumas that prevent women from being true to themselves and fully living their lives as God intended。 Throughout the book， she reminds us that in order to show up as our true selves， we have to face our wounds and address a number of behaviors that keep us stuck， ranging from people pleasing， to denial of our true emotions。 With a warm and straightforward writing style， Dr。 Cook provides clear strategies for addressing the obstacles that prevent us from moving forward， while sharing stories of her past struggles， as well as the healing journeys of other women。 The book is filled with practical advice on topics such as setting boundaries， creating authentic connections and more。 I highly recommend the book and plan to read it again。 Thank you， Dr。 Cook！ 。。。more
Camden Morgante
，
"Envisioning the best of you is the starting point for becoming the woman God made you to become。"Dr。 Alison Cook is a Christian psychologist who has quickly become a well-respected expert on the integration of faith and psychology。 Her work focuses on emotional and spiritual health， drawing from experts like shame researcher Brene Brown， Internal Family Systems creator Richard Schwartz， and trauma therapist Aundi Kolber。 Dr。 Cook is gifted at translating complex psychological theories and conce "Envisioning the best of you is the starting point for becoming the woman God made you to become。"Dr。 Alison Cook is a Christian psychologist who has quickly become a well-respected expert on the integration of faith and psychology。 Her work focuses on emotional and spiritual health， drawing from experts like shame researcher Brene Brown， Internal Family Systems creator Richard Schwartz， and trauma therapist Aundi Kolber。 Dr。 Cook is gifted at translating complex psychological theories and concepts into easily understandable tips and steps for those beginning their journeys toward emotional health。In her newest book， The Best of You， Dr。 Cook aims to "teach you how to do the hard， beautiful work of becoming--and trusting--your truest， deepest self， in partnership with the God who made you。" The book is divided into four parts。 Part 1: Uncover the Hidden You describes concepts like codependency and painful patterns。 Part 2: Discover the Best of You includes finding your voice， setting boundaries， and trusting yourself。 Part 3: Express the Best of You provides strategies on healing childhood wounds， finding authentic friendships， and healing your relationship with God。 Part 4: Live the Best of You commissions readers into a vision of living out these new revelations in their relationships and identity。This book is very clearly meant for Christian women。 Dr。 Cook specializes in the integration of psychology and Christianity。 As someone who is both a Christian and a psychologist myself， I know how challenging it can be to write and share your ideas with an audience—on one side， you’re too “religious” and on the other side， you’re too “woke”， “liberal”， or “secular。” As I read， I could imagine readers on one side might be uncomfortable with Cook’s emphasis on agency， selfhood， and “becoming your best self”。 Readers on the other side may be uncomfortable with the frequent references to God and Scripture。 Yet readers who find themselves both open to the wisdom of psychology and grounded in Scripture and faith in God will find a perfect match in The Best of You。 Dr。 Cook is most successful when she is deconstructing Christian platitudes with both reverence and deft。 I cheered when Dr。 Cook debunked Biblical phrases such as “turn the other cheek”， “honor your parents”， and “the heart is wicked and deceitful” in a way that both challenges traditional interpretations of those verses and honors their true intent。 I gained the most from the sections on spiritual abuse and spiritual bypassing—a term I learned for the first time from Dr。 Cook on social media。I found myself nodding along and highlighting various sentences to share with my therapy clients （in fact， I have already recommended the book to a few of my clients）。 The Best of You is probably best for those with a beginner level of knowledge of psychology or those just starting their journey toward emotional health and boundaries。 But for those who have spent some time in therapy and are further along in their healing， these concepts will be mostly a review。 Dr。 Cook offers a good introduction to concepts such as boundaries and codependency as well as some reflection questions to go deeper。 The practical action steps and concrete guidance she provides will help readers put abstract psychological concepts into practice。In Dr。 Cook， we find a wise and safe guide who both validates the impact of confusing church messages and spiritual abuse while pointing us toward the One who can provide ultimate healing。I received a free ARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Michelle
，
In “The Best Of You” Dr。 Alison Cook has written an incredibly beautiful guide for women who are on a journey towards embodying the image of God that we are each created to be。 Weaving psychology and spirituality together to create a clear and easy-to-follow path to healing from past and present wounds， this book is a must-read， and deserves to be on everyone’s bookshelf。
Vicki Anderson
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I can’t wait to share this life-changing book with my friends and loved ones。 Dr。 Alison Cook has a gift of explaining how we heal and making the reader feel seen and understood。 This book has many tools to help you discover who you are and what you want。 Read it with a friend。 You won’t be disappointed。
Dove Champagne
，
This book is one that I will go back to over and over。 With simple， gentle， and encouraging works， Dr。 Cook helps you understand the early wounds that hold you back from being your best self， the you that God designed to fill a specific purpose。In this book， concepts from many other books I have read （such as those by Jonice Webb and Brene Brown） are tied together in a way that you can apply directly to your personal growth journey。If the only thing I took away from this book was an understandin This book is one that I will go back to over and over。 With simple， gentle， and encouraging works， Dr。 Cook helps you understand the early wounds that hold you back from being your best self， the you that God designed to fill a specific purpose。In this book， concepts from many other books I have read （such as those by Jonice Webb and Brene Brown） are tied together in a way that you can apply directly to your personal growth journey。If the only thing I took away from this book was an understanding of the fawn response， the book would be worth reading， but the way that Dr。 Cook also shows how God created and wants to use the unique parts of you makes facing your own hurts doable。 。。。more
Diana Cissell
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Thank you to the publisher for my Advanced Reader Copy of Dr。 Alison’s new book， The Best of You。 I found Dr。 Alison’s book very relatable and informative！ I know anyone would find this book valuable。 From a faith based perspective， she uses her expertise to walk the reader through healing many real life struggles。 She offers practical strategies and information that I found myself highlighting in each chapter。 Don’t mistake this for a ‘do better’ self-help book。 Dr。 Alison focuses on healing ou Thank you to the publisher for my Advanced Reader Copy of Dr。 Alison’s new book， The Best of You。 I found Dr。 Alison’s book very relatable and informative！ I know anyone would find this book valuable。 From a faith based perspective， she uses her expertise to walk the reader through healing many real life struggles。 She offers practical strategies and information that I found myself highlighting in each chapter。 Don’t mistake this for a ‘do better’ self-help book。 Dr。 Alison focuses on healing our wounds in a healthy， holistic way。 You will not be disappointed you picked this one up。 。。。more
Lisa
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This book shares Alison’s heart for supporting and loving others who are on a journey to discover their best self。 As a Christian therapist， she delivers her content in a kind and compassionate tone with continual reminders that we are not to feel shame for the “self” that exists due to negative beliefs and past trauma or wounding。 She shows us how connecting with ourselves by naming and processing our feelings and becoming more self aware of our negative beliefs and patterns will support us in This book shares Alison’s heart for supporting and loving others who are on a journey to discover their best self。 As a Christian therapist， she delivers her content in a kind and compassionate tone with continual reminders that we are not to feel shame for the “self” that exists due to negative beliefs and past trauma or wounding。 She shows us how connecting with ourselves by naming and processing our feelings and becoming more self aware of our negative beliefs and patterns will support us in our growth toward our best self。 She also shares the importance of our relationships to our growth and healing work。Her message is extremely hopeful for her readers as she unveils truths from scripture as well as best practices from the mental health field that will guide the reader on their path to healing and wholeness。 She does a fantastic job of sharing how our past wounds and trauma have impacted us and the negative patterns that we may have developed as a way of coping with our experiences as children。 I especially love the steps she shares for healing these wounds and transforming these negative patterns， as well as the inclusion of clearly defining what is healthy and what is unhealthy for ourselves or what we may be experiencing with others。 What I especially appreciated about the book was the way Alison shares not only scripture but also ways that Jesus modeled the traits and behaviors that we need to be the best versions of ourselves that God created us to be。 As a woman of faith， I appreciated that lens of truth。 Alison tackles many of the topics that are areas of difficulty for women as a gender， who have cultural expectations placed on them that negatively influence their beliefs about their identity。 Alison gives us a glimpse of what our true self is and how it compares to our false self。 She also gives suggestions for how we can connect more to ourselves to uncover our true self that may be in hiding， as we move toward becoming our best self。 Women tend to struggle with boundaries， people pleasing， perfectionism， seeking approval， etc。 and Alison gives us permission to break these patterns and shows us the freedom for our souls that will be the benefit。 I found her included tools， reflections， scripts， and personal and client examples that Alison to be valuable and insightful。 I highly recommend the book to anyone who is seeking hope and healing and wants to become their best self！ 。。。more
Kristin Moser
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This book is amazing。 I love the questions at the end of each chapter to help me process all the great information。 I am on a journey of transformational change and this book has been so helpful。 I am listening to my inner voice and learning how to respond in healthy ways。 I am pausing to understand my needs instead of giving all of me away to others。 Thank you for this book。 Thank you。
Sarah Sambles
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This book is a must read for Christian women who've been struggling with people-pleasing， guilt， boundaries 。。。Dr。 Alison Cook unpacks， unpicks and dismantles so many subtle misbeliefs we’ve been fed as Christian women。 Misbeliefs that seem godly， biblical， nice and good， but actually keep us from honouring how God made us。 She absolutely blew my mind by accurately naming so many of the Christian platitudes which deny， dismiss or diminish the reality of our negative experiences。Dr。 Cook presents This book is a must read for Christian women who've been struggling with people-pleasing， guilt， boundaries 。。。Dr。 Alison Cook unpacks， unpicks and dismantles so many subtle misbeliefs we’ve been fed as Christian women。 Misbeliefs that seem godly， biblical， nice and good， but actually keep us from honouring how God made us。 She absolutely blew my mind by accurately naming so many of the Christian platitudes which deny， dismiss or diminish the reality of our negative experiences。Dr。 Cook presents a strong biblical basis for why we should take notice of our needs and get to know who we really are。 She uses Jesus’ example to show what healthy selfhood is， and how it isn’t selfish。 This isn’t a feminist， anti-church rant， it’s a thoughtful， godly framework for becoming the women God made us to be。 Dr。 Cook layers this with psychological wisdom that helps us understand and heal our bodies and souls。This book will help you truly understand the you the world needs - in terms of your relationship with yourself， your relationship with others， and your relationship with God。 If you， like me and most Christian women I know， struggle with knowing what you need， saying no or feeling confident， read this book。 。。。more
Caren
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This book has answered so many questions I’ve had about how to deal with difficult people and circumstances in life。 How to best process overwhelming thoughts and emotions。 How to be a better wife， better in my other relationships and to honor myself。 While weaving scripture through it so eloquently you’ve shown me Gods way to be the best me。 Thank you Dr。 Alison！
Alexandra
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This book is like therapy。 Dr。 Alison presents many theories and ways of thinking in a humble and gentle way， one that allows you to remove your defences and truly consider yourself。 I can see myself lending this book to my clients （I received an advanced copy， and you know my hard copy will be going straight to the counselling bookshelf） as well as to friends。 This book is written with women in mind， but I think it has wisdom for all genders。 Dr。 Alison shares concepts in a clear and concise wa This book is like therapy。 Dr。 Alison presents many theories and ways of thinking in a humble and gentle way， one that allows you to remove your defences and truly consider yourself。 I can see myself lending this book to my clients （I received an advanced copy， and you know my hard copy will be going straight to the counselling bookshelf） as well as to friends。 This book is written with women in mind， but I think it has wisdom for all genders。 Dr。 Alison shares concepts in a clear and concise way that empowers the reader to live with more integrity and authenticity。 It's a great read！ 。。。more
Lori
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